Saturday, March 22, 2008

First Impressions - MY Cousin Ali

I've been censored before. Ali was putting together a memory book for my cousin LeGrand and I wrote a story about my reunion with LeGrand, and my first impression of his new wife, Alice. I had written an original version, and then it got mysteriously lost, or edited, or censored. I was then asked to re-write the story.

Here's the censored version from about a year ago:

March 19, 2007

"HEY now!!!! Why was my story CENSORED???? I honestly can't remember what all I wrote and I didn't even save it!!!

To the best of my recollection I was just explaining how Legrand chose to get married just days before I got home from my mission. Legrand, being the efficient one, decided to multi-task by attending my homecoming as well as honeymoon in my parent’s backyard. YES that's right, he arranged for a Winnebago to be parked just outside of my fathers back door so that he could HONEYMOON with his new bride, AND catch up with his favorite cousin (ME) after three years of separation due to our mission overlap. (Everybody needs a break once in awhile.)

AND ME, well, having only been home from my mission for mere hours, and not yet becoming familiar with the nature of the female...and more specifically a recently married female.....AND having no idea what activities newlyweds would be interested in.....I kept trying to do what I had done for the previous two years.......Knock on their door!

AND with that, it ended up being more of the same as the previous two years, a quick peek from behind the curtains out the window and another unanswered door. Go figure?"

What really happened was LeGrand had come into the house to catch his breath, get rehydrated and chat it up with me for a few minutes. And no sooner than he sits himself down on the couch with some ice water than this NEW BRIDE of Frankenstein comes trompsing in the door and YELLS:

"LeGrand - get back out here in this Winnebago with me and quit talking to your cousin Jimmie or whatever his name is.....I'VE GOT NEEDS BOY!"

My first impression of Ali.........YIKES!
P.S. - I love her all the same now. And there's noone else better to Karaoke with................
"I put your picture away."


Alice Wills Gold said...

I think you changed the end of that story a bit...I am now the bride of frankenstein...that says, "I have needs boy!?"..don't know if that is quite accurate, but I like the literary priviledges that you much more fun to read!

And, I just would like to say for the record that I loved you from the get go, even though you only grew fond of me AFTER you found out my karoake talents!

I am loving the blog by the way...and just in case you wonder how to keep me loving your blog...just keep posting all you want about me..true or not! he he

Or, you can just keep posting uncensored stories...those would also keep my interest very successfully!

crashomatic said...

You're one of the lucky ones that got to read the post. Now everyone else like Matt n Erika and Rachel want to know what it said.

I thought it was well communicated and classy....Missy didn't agree.

Oh well.

I'll keep trying.

crashomatic said...

Ali - you didn't like the "rehydrated" part?

I thought that was pretty darn funny!

Yes, I took some liberties with that story, but it makes it a lot better Mrs. Frankenstein!

And you can't censor me either!

Mother 25 - 8 said...

"I got needs boy!" Matt and I are cracking up right now. Ali, you're the woman baby! This is quickly becoming a favored blog.